Goodbye Fall Semester!

(Granted, I’m writing this as IF I had written this right after finals, not a week(s) later!

Well then! That’s an end to that. (Phew!) That was definitely the most challenging semester of my life, in.. pretty much most ways. A bunch of science classes (with 6 hours of Lab in BacT, 2 hours in Stats, and fieldtrips in my WasteWater class.. heck, even my social science class had 2 hours of lab per week! Luckily next semester will see none of that (as long as BacT sees a C- (“C’s get Degrees” – Danny Strautman)), and then, this “job”. Aye. Please explain what is this. I don’t think I’ve mentioned it on here before, so I’m doing the “LGA” thing (aka an RA) at school now, working as part of HSU’s ^[1] Residence Life Staff. ^[2] It’s supposed to be a good experience, it’s supposed to be a safe environment, it’s..
(okay, this part is actually written MONTHS later! The word “Safe” is one that came up in one of my first conversations with someone who was involved here, Lynisha Perkins. So, it’s Supposed to be good, and a good experience, and a lot of things, but.. I don’t know about all that.. not just anymore, even once I was approaching the opportunity, I think I was a little skeptical, using, or absorbing, phrases such as “Big Housing.” Well, long story short, it was a bit of a challenging semester. I definitely never wanted to be an authority figure, that’s the last of the my desires, yet I took a position that has some responsibility for discipline? Seemingly, For ensuring that people are conducting themselves or behaving in an acceptable manner. Wow, I don’t know about all that. I did take this job for one reason, to help connect people, with resources, other people, really, to help a rockin community grow and thrive.

The semester started off pretty well. All of “ResLife” (Residence Life) Staff got to HSU 2 weeks before school started, and had “Summer Training.” It was kind of chill and fun, meeting new people, connecting with people I already knew/semi-knew, etc. I started talking and sharing my thoughts and voice, unlike in the pre-training which happened the semester before. (Sabrina Slater also pointed out that I spoke and it was cool.) I think that, possibly the best part of the semester was here. During our retreat out to Wolf Creek, Lydia came and sat down with me, and we chatted, about social justice, and as it relates, life as well. My most interesting and exciting conversations with folks this year have revolved around social justice, and Lydia was a great start (and harbinger of sorts?) to all of that. Later, she got me thinking about where environmentalism falls into Social Justice pretty seriously, and it has led to some great thoughts and insights.
With this all, especially as a Senior LGA, she really welcomed me into ResLife and Housing, like no other had done, and it was great. We quickly felt a strong bond of friendship, and it was great to finally, and properly, meet Lydia.
After summer training it kind of felt like the semester went downhill, I wasn’t sure how to be a “good” LGA, and in some ways was having trouble, both with my job and in school, with the lack of structure that I was experiencing. As I later realized that i’m capable, I think that it was more symptomatic of other bigger issues in my life, but I was unable to put everything together, and have it all gel. Conflicts and problems slowly mounted, but luckily (unlike spring semester’07) i had a good amount of schoolwork that needed to be done to keep me stressed/distracted. The semester ended pretty .. unhappily, as I “got in trouble” for the second time that semester, and as nothing happened the first time (in terms of severe lectures/repurcussions), this second time was now all the more serious. There was definitely moments that I thought I was for sure going to be fired, and .. I guess once a fear enters ones’ (or maybe just my) head, unless its addressed in some way it can’t be overcome. And so that fear
haunted me for .. really a good chunk of the year, making me less (cap)able, open, etc. It was.. unfortunate. This is an example of when it’s helpful to be really open and honest. Instead of worrying about getting fired, i should have just had a serious and real conversation. If getting fired (or not hired in the first place) was the result of my openness, then clearly, this job was not meant to be. And I could have been happier.
Well, I could have more to write about in this blog entry, but I think it’s plenty long already, so I end it here. Maybe I’ll add some pictures to this entry (or otherwise update it) later, but, I doubt it! No time for that.

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